Wednesday, August 6, 2008

When Joy Turns to Insanity...

Isn’t it true God chooses to teach us lessons when we most don’t want to learn lessons? We want action.
Currently, in my life, my husband is living three hours away in College Station until I find a job there. I have total confidence that the perfect job is there and I have actually interviewed for this perfect job already. BUT I have not received a call back for a second interview. I’m asking myself every hour it seems, “What is God teaching me? What is God teaching me? Why have I not found a job? Why have they not called me back yet?”

Before I move on, let me explain some of the events that have gone on in my life the past couple of weeks:
*While in Boston I was reading through the book of Psalm. God showed me this verse, “The Lord will keep you from all harm—He will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” (Psalm 121:7-8) I have a peace about the move to College Station. I know God is all over this.
*This past Tuesday-I had a flat tire before leaving for work. My emotions flooded and I cried for about an hour. I know, it was just a flat tire…I don’t know what my problem was. Needless to say, I was 2 ½ hours late for work therefore, I worked an hour later. Now, the Friendship Dinner (ladies event at PWD) was also on Tuesday night. I have been denying invitations to this event for weeks. I just didn’t want to go. I felt prompting from God to go but like the stubborn Christian I am—I told my friend, “I have to work late. I’ll see if I can make it on time.” Well, it was evident I was supposed to be there when the traffic from Dallas to Plano moved faster than I’ve ever experienced during the 5:00 hour. I made it to Plano at 6:00 and the dinner started at 6:30 so I had to go now. I went and had such a good time. Thelma Wells was the speaker and spoke on praying God’s promises. She quoted Philippians 4:6-8 while discussing the prayer activity of us. I left still feeling God was watching was over me. He would find me a job. He has already found me a job but I’m still anxious because the job needed to find me.
*Today-Wednesday-I’m sifting through my e-mail and come across my Desiring God Blog daily e-mail. Now, I usually read this a day after it comes out so I’m reading yesterday’s today and the author of the blog is an event coordinator and he also is quoting from Philippians 4:6 and says, “anchor your prayers in promises.” Okay, that is the second time I’ve heard that phrase and that verse in two days.
My Wednesday continues…I change my My Utmost For His Highest desk calendar and it says, “The point of prayer is not to get answers from God, but to have perfect and complete oneness with Him. When you seem to have no answer, there is always a reason—God uses these times to give you deep personal instruction, and it is not for anyone else but you.”

Many of you that know me know that I am a problem solver. My job is to solve problems and make insurance companies pay hospitals correctly. God knows exactly how to bring me to my knees: Give me a problem I can’t fix. As I’m typing this I’m gaining perspective because I know so many people go through problems much worse than my current situation. I am praising God because I have a job, I did not get fired, my husband has a job he loves, our bills are getting paid, He is providing. But I must trust Him with my future! Why is trusting the Creator of the world so hard? Do we doubt He can handle our problems?

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